It was like a veil lifting, a veil which had dropped following the divorce 16 years ago. Following the funeral of my ex-husband yesterday, hundreds of people came up to me to say hello and give condolences--the usual stuff. For most of the people, whom I have not seen for nearly 20 years, it was the same. I was aware that I knew them and when they said their name, floods of memories would pour back and I would recognize them and our former relationship. The people who were children were now grown with families of their own. Some of my generation and that of my ex-husband who was 75 at passing, had felt the gentle hand of the years. For others the time was not so kind. One woman said that it was brave for me to attend but I felt like I belonged there. My husband of 28 years, the father of my three grown children had died and all of the people who had been friends and family over the years were there, and I knew all but a handful of them.
The whole experience was a bit overwhelming though as was indicated by my response to a tall gentleman who approached just as I was leaving the chapel. I knew I should know him and I asked if he would forgive me and tell me his name. He said, Denny Morris. Oh my God. I went to school with Denny and we had even dated for a while the summer after graduation. How could I not recognize him, even if it had been more than 25 years since I had seen him last! I joked about how he is the only person who had called me Denny because my first name is Denelda. He looked at me strangely and I moved on to accidentally form my own "greeting line" preceding the family line outside the chapel.
Later at the reception I made a point of chatting with Denny again, oblivious to comments about his wife having been a student at the high school where I taught, and that his uncle was Tom Skinner, someone my age,...many clues...but I was too spaced out to make the connection.
When my daughter and I were talking about the afternoon, later that evening, I mentioned how I didn't even recognize Denny and she said that it wasn't Denny. It was his son, Dennis Morris who is only 40 years old and was there because he was a good friend of my son, Bill. But more than that-- I had coached Dennis for several years in Basketball at junior high!
My head is much clearer today. I have had so many memories and old friendships rekindled as a result of yesterday's event. But I will always laugh at myself for thinking Dennis was his dad who unfortunately passed away when our boys were just out of high school.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Monday, August 30, 2010
Struggles with Family
Athletes are not always in the gym, working out or planning events. They are people with families and personal struggles, just like everyone else.
On Saturday, I helped move my disabled sister into assisted living in Victoria, painted part of my deceased Mother's Condo in preparation of it's sale, and then attended a family dinner for my niece, Fawnia who is in town for a few days. It is always fun to Google Fawnia who owns pole dancing studios in Las Vegas to see what her latest adventure is.
Today Poul and I are going once again to Victoria. This time it's for the funeral of my ex-husband. I'm looking forward to seeing family and friends that I haven't seen since Bob and I divorced 17 years ago. It will be a sad event because he was a fine man respected by everyone who knew him. He coached football, softball, lacrosse and played for the Victoria Steelers Football team in the Continental League, the Victoria Shamrocks in the A division of Lacrosse and Rugby for James Bay Athletic Association. He will be missed by all of us.
This week we are also losing our daughter Cori and two granddaughters, Syren and Talis, who are moving into a Condo of their own. They have been living with us for 6 months and we will miss their energy and hugs. Luckily they will be only a half hour away.
So life goes on and sometimes we struggle, but it's all good.
On Saturday, I helped move my disabled sister into assisted living in Victoria, painted part of my deceased Mother's Condo in preparation of it's sale, and then attended a family dinner for my niece, Fawnia who is in town for a few days. It is always fun to Google Fawnia who owns pole dancing studios in Las Vegas to see what her latest adventure is.
Today Poul and I are going once again to Victoria. This time it's for the funeral of my ex-husband. I'm looking forward to seeing family and friends that I haven't seen since Bob and I divorced 17 years ago. It will be a sad event because he was a fine man respected by everyone who knew him. He coached football, softball, lacrosse and played for the Victoria Steelers Football team in the Continental League, the Victoria Shamrocks in the A division of Lacrosse and Rugby for James Bay Athletic Association. He will be missed by all of us.
This week we are also losing our daughter Cori and two granddaughters, Syren and Talis, who are moving into a Condo of their own. They have been living with us for 6 months and we will miss their energy and hugs. Luckily they will be only a half hour away.
So life goes on and sometimes we struggle, but it's all good.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Daily Exercise Routine
On Monday, Wednesday and Friday I go to the local community hall for aerobics from 8:30 to 9:30 AM. Yesterday, the cardio was a little weak for me. We spent too much focus on the steps and routine and whether we were starting on the right beat of the music and whether our arms and legs were moving in the correct pattern instead of just pushing it and getting the heart rate up. This was followed by yoga stretches instead of weights so it wasn't my favorite day. I went with a 40 minute walk with my husband when I got home, then mowed the lawn. Exercise has got to be part of one's lifestyle if they are going to maintain a program. If I miss more than a day, I find it difficult to get back on because it involves getting up before everyone else. There is always a reason not to go if I look for it. Even though conditions are perfect here when I'm not responsible for my granddaughters, I haven't ridden my bike this summer at all. With important tournaments in September and October, it's important that my lifestyle contains a strong exercise component.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Death in the Family
I
stopped by the hospital to visit my ex-husband, Bob Coutts, shown here with our first child Billy who is now 40 years old. I spent about 1/2 hour alone with him in the hospice. We had been married for 28 years, had three wonderful kids together and though it has been 15 years since we parted, I still cared for the good man who would always be the father of my kids. He passed away about 12 hours later. Today is a sad day.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigrzqxiWKLiTcggAL3hQNFGSNb6PtIWkNwVwKdHM6eZcJmSldxP-vnK3GrFwHBi1eDcERpeQ0XbVrBk6Nfr0SdnaULwypMgcdo8XTz_pgjqUnnCcC0J3kaf3aNMCOjiyQ0FyraCW-Hn873/s320/SB_14958677.jpg)
More Louisiana Filming
The
evening was NOT being filmed and some of us went out for a wonderful meal at Jubans. This is a popular, expensive restaurant in Baton Rouge. My steak, with Bernaise sauce, followed by creme brulee were superb. Kitty and I treated our hosts-- the least we could do for the hospitality we experience whenever we visit.
SUNDAY found our team headed for Livingston, a small town south of BR. The captain, Mavis, who just turned 74, put on a three course lunch which the filming crew decided was the best home cooked meal they had yet experienced. We were filmed eating and joking, both of which we do constantly.
When we finished the meal, we were supposed to leave Mavis's son's rebuilt plantation home and have a tea party outside Mavis's house. Because it was about 105 degrees outside, we pretended we were having a tea party in the living room. We were supposed to dress elegantly for this so we all had our finest dress and heels.
But today is MONDAY and I am comfortable in white capris and a tan v-neck t-shirt with my strappy sandals. I'm flying from BR to Dallas to Seattle to Victoria and then will drive home in the nice cool of the Island evening. It will have been eleven hours of travel and home will be a welcome sight. But the adventure and memories shared with my special friends make it all worthwhile.
SUNDAY found our team headed for Livingston, a small town south of BR. The captain, Mavis, who just turned 74, put on a three course lunch which the filming crew decided was the best home cooked meal they had yet experienced. We were filmed eating and joking, both of which we do constantly.
When we finished the meal, we were supposed to leave Mavis's son's rebuilt plantation home and have a tea party outside Mavis's house. Because it was about 105 degrees outside, we pretended we were having a tea party in the living room. We were supposed to dress elegantly for this so we all had our finest dress and heels.
But today is MONDAY and I am comfortable in white capris and a tan v-neck t-shirt with my strappy sandals. I'm flying from BR to Dallas to Seattle to Victoria and then will drive home in the nice cool of the Island evening. It will have been eleven hours of travel and home will be a welcome sight. But the adventure and memories shared with my special friends make it all worthwhile.
Celadrin Tigerettes Filming
SATURDAY we wore our uniforms to a practice session at the local YMCA at 8 AM (6 AM for me!). The filming crew choreographed our practice to fill the gaps they had in their prvious footage. Thank goodness for airconditioning because, even at 8 in the morning, it was almost 100 degrees Farenheit. We went to the hairdresser in our uniforms after practice to simulate that we had just returned from winning the title. DJ had been filmed before the games and, while he did our hair, he talked about the competition. My hair ended up looking like Donna Reed with little flips at the bottom of flat sides.??? Anyway, it was a lot of fun. Keith, Chris and Jason, the filming crew, showed us the edited footage for the film as they have done it to date. They still have another 30 minutes to edit out with a finished feature presentation becoming 90 minutes. They have had 100 hours of film before this round and still don't have the sound and music overlaid.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Louisiana Filming Documentary
This part of the adventure began last summer when our basketball team was chosen to be featured in a PBS documentary being created to cover the 2009 National Senior Games being hosted by Stanford University in California. There was a filming team which shot a lot of footage in Louisiana preceeding the competitions. Our basketball sponsor, CELADRIN, flew me down for the weekend for filming. Then, during the Games, they filmed every minute of every game. It was a really tough and exciting competition with us coming from behind to win in the last minutes of the last game. But now, with the final feature presentation coming out in the spring of 2011, the crew is wanting more footage. What could they possibly want to get on film? Anyway, I leave in the morning for another all expense paid trip to Louisiana. I'm leaving amazing 75 degree weather with a breeze off the ocean and flying for ten hours to stay in 100+ degree temperature. But my teammates are amazing, hilarious women and I know it will be another weekend to remember. I thought I would share it with you.
Today I will start my trip with drive to Victoria which is 2 hours. I'm helping my younger sister get settled in Assisted Living. I will stay at my Mother's vacant condo. She passed away earlier this year and we are about to list it. They say that "due to heightened security it is recommended you check in 3 hours prior to departure", but if I got to the Victoria Airport at 6:05 AM, the only one there would be the night watchman. Traveling as often as I do with my sports teams, I know that I can check in 40 minutes before departure and have no worries. I take all my stuff in a carry-on...even if I go for ten days.
Today I will start my trip with drive to Victoria which is 2 hours. I'm helping my younger sister get settled in Assisted Living. I will stay at my Mother's vacant condo. She passed away earlier this year and we are about to list it. They say that "due to heightened security it is recommended you check in 3 hours prior to departure", but if I got to the Victoria Airport at 6:05 AM, the only one there would be the night watchman. Traveling as often as I do with my sports teams, I know that I can check in 40 minutes before departure and have no worries. I take all my stuff in a carry-on...even if I go for ten days.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)